Invader Python's Hovering Carnival
by C-dubz96
Summary: A parody of Monty Python's Flying Circus using Invader Zim. If you want to read it, leave a review at least.
1. Intro

Disclaimer: I do not own Monty Python's Flying Circus or Invader Zim

Author's Note: This is just one big Monty Python parody, so if you like the coming sketches, R&R. Enjoy!

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Invader Python's Hovering Carnival

Intro

Keef walks towards the camera when he is attacked by a squirrel, gnome, and Gir

Keef: It's...

Purple: Invader Python's Hovering Carnival!

Invader Zim Theme starts

Zim jumps out of Eric

Zim and Dib sitting in fron of each other and arguing back and forth with an X-Ray in the background

Baby carriage eats Tak

Gaz pulls Dib sideways

Ms. Bitters breaks out of Waffle cocoon

Keef gets knocked over by Megadoomer

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And that's the intro for you.

R&R if you liked it. I'll post the first sketch in a few days.


	2. Dib Big Head Membrane

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Monty Python's Flying Circus or Invader Zim

Author's Note: This parody uses the "Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson" joke, I hope you enjoy it. R&R please!

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**Dib "Big-head" Membrane**

(Camera Zoom in on Zim and Dib on Mysterious Mysteries set)

(Intro to "It's The Arts" Begins)

Zim: Hello my Stink-children, and welcome to another episode of "It's A Conspiracy"; today we're interviewing the STUPIDEST of all of you, Dib "Big-Head" Membrane. Tell us a bit about your strongest belief DIB!

Dib: I'm not telling you, you're an alien, you already know.

Zim: TELL ME OR I WILL THROW THIS MUFFIN AT YOUR DISTURBINGLY LARGE HEAD!

Dib: MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!

Zim smacks Dib

Zim: Calm down monkey-thing. So tell me, how did you get the name "Big-head"?

Dib: Well, it all started a few weeks back, people kept saying I had a big head, so it just stuck.

Zim: Well, that does seem somewhat interesting, but have you considered getting surgery done for your head?

Dib: ...What?

X-ray of Dib's skull shows up in background

Zim: Well, I hear that there are special operations for Earth-Monkeys who want to make parts of their bodies smaller.

Dib: That's called Liposuction, Zim, and it- HEY!

Zim: What?

Dib: That's an X-Ray of my skull isn't it?

Zim: You Lie!

Dib: It is! Take it down!

Zim: No

Gaz: Is he bothering you again, Zim?

Zim: Yes

Gaz picks up Dib and throws him off the set.

Zim: You invoked my wrath, Dib!

Gaz: I can throw you off too, you know.

Zim: FOOL! I AM ZIM!

Gaz throwsx Zim off the set and into a pool

Zim: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Gaz: And now for something completely different, The Gameslave 2

Zim: WHAT?

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That's Dib "Big-head" Membrane for you.

Next parody will be funnier I hope


	3. Vort Dogs

Disclaimer: This will be the last time I post this

I do not own Monty Python's Flying Circus or Invader Zim. I wish I did, but I don't

Author's note: I'll try and spell some names right in this one, but if I don't, let me know

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**Vort Dogs**

Camera zoom out on Sizzlor and Gashloo in the kitchen, surrounded by blobs like Eric.

Zim and Gir fly down using rockets

Zim: Hey

Gashloo: Hey

Gir: What's on the menu?

Sizzlor: Well, we've got, Plooka; Slydoodidoo; Plooka and Vort Dogs; Slydoodidoo and Vort Dogs; Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs Plooka and Vort Dogs; Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Slydoodidoo and Vort Dogs; or we've got the special heartburner: Triple-Jumbified sack of Vort Dogs.

Zim: Anything without Vort Dogs in it?

Sizzlor: Well, Plooka and Vort Dogs dosen't come with many Vort Dogs

Zim: Couldn't I just have Plooka without the Vort Dogs?

Sizzlor: YICH

Zim: What do you mean "yich"? I don't like Vort Dogs!

Sizzlor: Well you can't have Plooka and Vort Dogs without the Vort Dogs

Zim: I DON'T LIKE VORT DOGS!

Gir: Don't worry, master, I'll have your Vort Dogs, I love 'em. I'm having Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs Slidoodidoo and Vort Dogs and the Triple-Jumbified sack of Vort Dogs.

Sizzlor: Slidoodidoo's off

Gir: can I just have Vort Dogs instead?

Sizzlor: You mean Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs and Vort Dogs and the Triple-Jumbified sack of Vort Dogs?

Gir: YEAH!

Gashloo wretches in the kitchen

Blobs start singing

Blobs: _Vort Dogs Vort Dogs Vort Dogs Vort Dogs  
DELICIOUS DOGS! (Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs)  
WONDERUL DOGS! (Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs)  
DELICIOUS DOGS! (Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs)  
WONDERFUL DOGS! (Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs, Vort Dogs)_

Sizzlor: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Filthy Blobs

Sizzlor takes out giant spatula, blobs immediately get quiet

Sizzlor: We don't have enough Vort Dogs for all of that.

Gir: What do you have enough for?

Sizzlor: A Six pack of Triple Jumbified sacks of Vort Dogs

Zim: Never mind, Gir, we're leaving.

Gir: Awww...

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Okay, hope you all liked that, yeah, I know I dragged it out, but I couldn't think of anything else. If I misspelled any names, leave a review or message or something of the sort.


	4. Tak Eating Baby Carriage

Author's Note: This is a play on the sketch where the old ladies would lean into the baby carriage to admire the baby and be eaten by it; enjoy, R&R, and just have some fun.

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**Tak-Eating Baby Carriage**

Professor Membrane pushes a baby carriage and stops in front of Tak

Tak: Ugh, it's hideous, but at the same time, it's so pathetically harmless and I can't resist but-

Carriage eats Tak with loud sound. Professor Membrane snickers and keeps walking. Carriage stops in front of Tak again

Tak: Ugh, it's hideous, but at the same time, it's so pathetically harmless and I can't resist but-

Carriage eats Tak again with loud sound; Professor Membrane laughs all the harder and keeps moving

Stops in front of Tak again

Tak: Ugh, it's hideous, but at the same time, it's so pathetically harmless and I can't resist but-

Carriage eats Tak once again with loud noise; Professor Membrane cackles and keeps pushing it.

Stops in front of Tak again.

Tak: Ugh, it's hideous, but at the same time, it's so pathetically harmless and I can't resist but-

Red: Hold it, this has gone too far!

Red turns carriage around; carriage starts chasing Professor Membrane, who is currently flying away

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Okay, I hope you liked that one, I couldn't do too much with an animated sketch, but I might do another one a bit later on.


	5. Self Defense Against Processed Meat

Author's Note: Anyone who saw the "Self-Defense against Fresh Fruit" Sketch should know about this one.

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**Self-Defense Against Processed Meat**

Zim is standing in front of a class of Irkens, including Tak

Zim: My fellow Irkens, today, you will learn how to defend yourself against processed meat!

Class groans

Zim: What?

Skoodge: We've done processed meat for the past eight earth weeks; can't we do something more interesting?

Zim: Such as?

Tak: Well, you did promise you'd eventually cover needles and such

Zim: No I didn't.

Skoodge and Tak: YES YOU DID!

Zim: SILENCE! Anyway, First, I'll teach you how to defend yourself against baloney. The first thing you do if someone is coming after you with baloney is disarm them. Then you must incinerate the baloney, rendering them harmless

Zim walks over to Tak

Zim: You! Come at me with the Baloney.

Tak charges at Zim

Zim pulls out a laser and vaporizes Tak

Skoodge screams

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Class: What'd you do that for?

Zim: It was all in self-defense, she was coming at me with Baloney, and I acted accordingly.

Skoodge: what if she had been coming at you with a needle?

Zim: SILENCE! Now we shall cover how to defend yourself against the earth product called "spam". Skutch, take this can of spam and open it, lob the spam at me

Skutch: No

Zim: Why not?

Skutch: Because you'll vaporize me

Zim: No, see? I'll even drop the disintegrator ray

Skutch: Alright

Skutch throws opened can of Spam at Zim, Zim pulls out a baseball bat and hits the can. The spam flies out of the can and back into Skutch's throat

Skutch falls over gagging and writhing around for five minutes and then stops moving

Zim: You see? All you have to do is hit the can with a baseball bat and you will not be harmed

Skoodge: That's another one you've killed!

Zim: SILENCE! Now, you will come at me with salami

Skoodge: NO!

Zim: YES YOU WILL! AND SPLEEN WILL HELP YOU!  
Zim hands Skoodge and Spleen a salami each and run at Zim

Zim: When you do not have an disintegrator ray or a baseball bat, that is when you release the LION!

A Saint Bernard comes out and jumps onto Skoodge, Drool comes flying at Spleen. Spleen catches fire and Skoodge is crushed by the weight of the Saint Bernard.

Zim: Yes, the Lion is your best source of protection, but when you do not have a lion with you, you should release the mighty Bass. Of course, when neither are available to you, make sure you have your SIR unit with you.

Gir: Sammich?

Zim: No Gir, no sammich, we have to prepare for the next class

Gir: What's that?

Zim: Simple, the human's self-defense class against processed meat, gather up the things we used, I'll save Dib for last.

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That was a long one, huh? Hope you liked it, I know I could probably have done more with it, but I wanted to cut it off there. R&R please


	6. The Snack Sketch

Author's Note: A simple play on the Restaurant sketch; it might not be all that good; But it's the best I can do, enjoy!

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**The Snack Sketch**

Camera enters the Massive, Red and Purple are sitting on a sofa eating snacks. Table-Drone comes in.

Table-Drone: Hello, my tallest. How do your snacks taste today?

Red & purple: Great!

Red: But there is one thing I need to pick at, this soda's flat.

Table-Drone: That shouldn't be, I'll go get the head snack-maker

Sizzlor walks out a few minutes later

Sizzlor: I hear that there is a flat soda, may I inspect it.

Red: Um... sure.

Sizzlor lifts the lid of the soda and turns to the Table-Drone

Sizzlor: FIND OUT WHO PUT THIS SODA INTO THE CUP AND FIRE THEM! BETTER YET, FIRE THE WHOLE VENDING STAFF AS A PRECAUTION!

Sizzlor turns to the Tallest

Sizzlor: I'm terribly sorry about this, after all, you two do deserve our finest, but Skoodge's replacement is pretty brittle right now, and Table-Drone has to deal with the pain from the table strapped to his head every day.

Red: It's alright, don't worry about it.

Sizzlor: No, I insist, we must take it upon ourselves, such things.

Zim comes out

Zim: I can take it from here.

Red, Purple and Sizzlor: Oh no.

Zim: I can understand why you're upset my Tallest; but allow me to reassure you, what is a flat soda to you is a drinkable version of SKOODGE! A liquid form of DIB! A vast cup of distasteful human meat!

Red: Go away Zim.

Purple deactivates Zim's PAK and Zim falls over.

Skoodge's replacement comes out

SR: YOU UNGRATEFUL SNACK-HOGS! YOU WHO ARE UNWORTHY TO KISS THIS POOR IRKEN'S ANTENNAE! Oh it makes me angry!

Table-Drone: NO SPLEEN! Never kill the Tallest.

Table-Drone: Ah! The head wound!

Spleen: THE HEAD WOUND!

Table-Drone and Spleen clutch their heads and fall over.

Dib: And now for the punch-line

Red: I'm glad we didn't say anything about the stale donuts

Crowd boos and starts throwing chips at Red and Purple

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I'd like to say that I am not a Zim-basher, frankly, he and Gir are my favorites on the show. I just had to pick an Irken that Red and Purple really hated, so I chose Zim. Skoodge's replacement refers to the fact that in the sketch, Skoodge worked on Irk until he decided to become an invader. Spleen went to take his place after he took over the planet he was assigned to... and SR refers to Spleen as well. Of course, this is all just for the sketch, I'm just making it up as I go. R&R please!


	7. The Swollen Eyeball

A Spanish Inquisition joke, enjoy!

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**The Swollen Eyeball**

Iggins walks into Gaz's room.

Iggins: Troublewithpiggies

Gaz: What?

Iggins: Trouble withpiggies

Gaz: Like what?

Iggins: UltraPiggulon'stakingoverthegame

Gaz: What?

Iggins: Ultra Piggulon's takingoverthegame

Gaz: Speak English or be quiet

Iggins: Ultra Piggulon's taking over the game!

Gaz: Why didn't you just say so?

Iggins: I didn't mean to, I was just told to say that we were having trouble with the vampire piggies and to hurry. I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!

No sound

Cricket chirps

Iggins: Alright, that didn't work; let's try something a bit more modern. I wasn't expecting the Swollen Eyeball!

Jarring note, Agent Darkbooty and Dib jump in

Dib: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SWOLLEN EYEBALL!!

Darkbooty: Our main weapon is Fear, fear and surprise. Ah! Our two weapons are fear, surprise, and an almost paranormal devotion to the truth. Ah! Three elements... Amongst our weapons are such elements as fear- we'll intrude again.

Dib and Darkbooty leave the room

Iggins: I wasn't expecting the Swollen Eyeball.

Jarring note plays again, Dib and Darkbooty jump in again.

Dib: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SWOLLEN EYEBALL!

Darkbooty: Our weapons are fear... surprise... an almost paranormal devotion to the truth, and nice red eye color. Oh Darn it! Mothman, I can't say it, you'll have to.

Dib: What? Why?! I can't

Gaz: SECURITY!

Stuffed animals come to life and attack Darkbooty and Dib

Gaz: You guys missed one.

Stuffed animals turn to Iggins

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I know, I could have done more, but I was running out of ideas, I just hope you liked it.


	8. Gir Turning People Into Waffles

"Aliens turning People into Scottsmen", right... WRONG, this is different. Although it does have some parts that remind you of it.

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**Gir turning People Into Waffles**

Zita walks around and Gir can be heard humming above her. Gir flies down and when the smoke clears, Zita is encased in waffle.

Melvin stands in front of an electronics store, Gir floats in front of him and runs off, Melvin is wafflized.

Tak is plotting when Gir can be heard singing the doom song. Tak turns around and attempts to scream, but it's too late, Tak is a waffle.

Skoodge is about to collide with Planet Blorch, but then Gir hovers close by and then flies off. Skoodge is a waffle and breaks on impact.

Ms. Bitters is sitting at her desk and going on a doom rant again. Gir flies around the room and then flies out. Ms. Bitters is in a waffle, but soon breaks out and growls.

Zim: Gir, I feel that you have tested the wafflizer quite well; it is time to test it out on the president. TO PRESIDENT LAND, GIR!

Zim hops onto Gir and rides off.

Dib: We have to stop Zim! He's turning everyone into waffles! The question is: Why?

Gaz: You're both stupid!

Prof. Membrane: Son, you need to devote your life to REAL SCIENCE! People can't just turn into waffles! You should focus on finding a way to SAVE THE WORLD from INSANITY!

Zim arrives in President Land.

President Man: What're you doing here? Do you have any shakin' or chocolate Ninja Star Cookies?

Zim: NOW GIR! USE THE WAFFLIZER!!

Gir: YES MY MASTER!

Gir flies at President Man

Gir's eyes begin to turn green, then to a deep golden yellow with a grid pattern. Gir nibbles at President Man and drools. President Man turns into a waffle from the head to his toes.

Zim: Success! THE EARTH IS OURS!!!!

Zim runs off maniacally and Gir follows shortly after. Gir trips and accidentally bites Zim. Some Drool escapes and while Zim is turning into a waffle, he yells at Gir

Zim: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOUR MASTER! I'M THE ONE WHO MAINTAINS YOU, FEEDS YOU, AND I'M THE REASON WHY YOU-

Zim is a waffle. Gir cries for a moment and then eats Zim.

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What'd you guys think? Did you like it? Hate it? R&R please!


	9. End

Author's Note: This is the last part of Invader Python's hovering Carnival, I just wanted you to know that... I might post more episodes of it though

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**Invader Python's Hovering Carnival**

**End**

Keef appears in front of the camera, very badly bruised. He turns around and starts to walk away. Credits roll and Invader Zim opening theme begins again.

Credits read:

Invader Python's Hovering Carnival originated from the darkest corner of this author's mind, but then he decided to put a lighting fixture in, so it is now from the brightest patch of brain in his head.

Theme ends, camera starts to fade out, but just before it does, Keef gets hit in the back of the head with falling bread, the Massive lands on top of him. Red and Purple pick up the bread and get back inside.

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Alright, that's the last part of this one. I hope you all liked it. And thank you all for your reviews. And if anyone cares to know, I've started a Dead Rising story with Zim if anyone wants to check it out in the meantime. It's called "Dead Zim Walking"


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